Curbing Student Discipline Problems: The Paul Simon Way

At this time each year school administrators meet with students who for one reason or another did not finish the prior school year. Reasons for students choosing not to complete a school year may vary. Teen pregnancy and other personal reasons for drop out loom and there is always the possibility of illness, but at the high school level it is most common to see students not finish a school year due to some serious disciplinary issue that has taken place. Naturally, discipline is a HUGE topic in public schools today. For today’s post, Paul Simon helped me put together a few points that can help parents and teachers set the stage for success for our students with regard to discipline. Hopefully these tactics contribute to a better school year for all of our students. Take a look:

You Don’t Have to Discuss Much
Every teacher and every parent has a different way of doing business with their students and with their children. The school has consistent rules for student behavior, and yet in this structure, every classroom is different. Parents and teachers alike must have consistent rules, approaches, and even goals and rewards each day. Students find change or unpredictability puzzling, and may test limits or boundaries to see how far they can go with different adults. (Remember the saying, "If mom says no, then just go ask dad?)

When I Was a Little Boy, and the Devil Would Call My Name
Often when students are engaging in behaviors counterproductive to learning, adults just react. Rarely does one ask him or herself why the child is acting the way that he or she is. In a nutshell, all behavior has meaning – and it is done for a reason. Teachers and parents have to operate with the understanding that adolescents don’t just “do” things (nor are they caused by some supreme spirit of evil). Rather, they act in accordance with what they believe is happening at whatever moment that they are in. Understanding why a student or child acts in a certain way can bring us closer to figuring out what problem he or she is really facing. When that problem is confronted appropriately, we are more likely to stop the negative behaviors.

Make a New Plan, Stan
Parents and teachers should stay out of power struggles with adolescents. Conflicts should be chosen very carefully, and once one of these “battles” has been appropriately chosen, the Adult must have the final say. Always! This tactic should be used in NON-NEGOTIABLE situations that deal with serious topics such as safety and healthy choices. If an issue is important, experts indicate it's vital that an adult not cave and give in to a child any passes or “just this once” opportunities. Just as I mentioned with consistency above, if you do this, then every time this issue comes up again, your child might think you will change your mind.

She Gets Down on Her Knees and Hugs Me
Negative behavior is the easiest to focus on, but don’t forget to praise the positive behavior in our students. When students are doing exactly what they are supposed to do and are living up to their expectations it is a common blunder for adults not to notice. A high five from a teacher, a hug from a parent, or a simple statement like, “ I am really impressed that you got your homework done early tonight” provides adolescents with much needed praise. It serves to raise their self-esteem, and is likely to cause that great behavior to happen again.

Be Cool Fool (not Paul Simon, but it fits)
I’ve learned that adolescents often enjoy seeing a rise out of their teachers and that some students have actually viewed their teachers losing their cool as a victory for them, even when they are in trouble. ALWAYS keep calm and in control, and if necessary, you can even tell your student or child that you will talk to them later after you have had time to digest the situation. Responding emotionally rarely, if ever creates a successful situation for a child. Some kids will even take advantage of a stressed out, mad, or emotional adult; so never give them this opportunity. If you do mess up, learn from the experience, and take another measure to keep yourself calm, cool and collected the next time.

I added to the bottom of this blog a website that provides access to dozens of other websites that provide parents and teachers with information about how to help their children and students be successful in school.

http://www.internet4classrooms.com/parents.htm