My Friend Angelo

Today I was thinking about a next door neighbor that I had when I lived in Western New York. His name was Angelo and over twenty or so years we had a relationship that changed many times. As a child he chased me from his yard and actually brought me to my mother because his yard was off limits. Angelo’s back garden cut a good portion of my trip to a local mini-mart, so I recall good reason for jumping his fence. I also got into trouble for picking his grapes, taking peaches from his trees, and for picking at his sunflowers. Fortunately for Angelo, my friends and I didn’t like the taste of raw tomatoes or we would have gotten in trouble for taking them just the same as the peaches and grapes.

Angelo met me when I was born and I knew him until I was nearly twenty five years old. In my adulthood I realized that we had the common problem of a shared driveway and winters anywhere near Buffalo helped neighbors become the best of friends. When I was twelve years old Angelo had a snow blower and I had a shovel. When I was twenty-two Angelo was too frail to push his snow blower while I shoveled, so the snow blower became mine along with the responsibility of the entire driveway. I should probably say that my friendship with Angelo got better as both of us aged – and it was strongest when he was in his mid eighties and I was in my early twenties.

I recall a spring morning when I was in the backyard with my dog and Angelo called me into his backyard. He told me that morning that his grapes were my grapes and his peach trees were mine too. He encouraged me to take some tomatoes to my grandmother, and he showed me where to find the cucumbers and eggplant if I so wanted. This was a weird and unforgettable moment – for sure. We began to talk about how one learns to grow such things, and I was particularly interested in the peach trees. He had a knack for peaches – his were the best.

Just days after this I went out to mow our lawns and Angelo wanted to talk again. He brought me to the middle of my backyard to show me the tiny peach tree that he planted there for me. He had to show me so that I did not run it over with the lawn mower. He gave me instructions on when to water it and told me that he would show me what to spray it with when the time came. The tiny tree grew quickly, but it would take a couple of summers before it actually produced peaches. When the tree was about three feet high, Angelo showed me how important it was to pluck the leaves and buds that were at the very bottom of the longer branches. He explained that the energy that the tree put into those new leaves in its trunk would be taken from the larger more important fruit bearing branches. I will never forget that he told me how this was not only true for trees. He said in his Italian accent, “Dis-a true-a witha you life-a too.” For those of you who don’t speak broken English he said, “This is also true in life.”

Standing by my new peach tree on that day I was given quite the message. I was told that in all things there would exist smaller (seemingly important) detractors that removed energy from what was most important. The message that Angelo gave me on that day I now see as a lesson. It is true in relationships just as much as it is in tasks at work. It is also true in the classroom if a teacher sees the objective of his or her lesson as the branch of a tree that will bear fruit. With this philosophy, lesson intrusions (like the leaves at the trunk of the tree) are identified and diminished so that maximum energy goes into teaching which results in more learning for our students.

*Today’s blog is written in memory of my good friend Angelo Ruggeriello who taught me how to grow a good peach, and so much more.